What No-One Told Me About Menopause

Photo by David Holifield on Unsplash

When I was growing up, the Menopause was spoken of in hushed tones. That unmentionable period in a woman's life was referred to as the Change, a rather pejorative term with its implication of inherent madness and a shift towards invisibility and old age. My Mum seemed to have a torrid time of it, often predicting what lay ahead for me too.

Apart from some insomnia and the occasional hot flush, I paid little attention to the side effects of Menopause. My fifties turned out to be a rollercoaster ride. First, my Mum died when I was 49. Two weeks later my Dad and I bought a house together, sold two houses, relocated to a new area, and dealt with the aftermath of my Mum's death. I changed jobs, met my husband to be. Just as we were starting our relationship, my Dad died. Fast forward another two years and Chris and I got married. The following year I sold the house my Dad and I had bought, and Chris and I relocated to Derbyshire.

I didn't have much time to notice any Menopausal symptoms.

Maybe I was very lucky and I glossed over any physical changes. But, still, something was afoot.

The Siren Call

In 2024, I chose alchemy as my word of the year. For six months I doubted my choice but, by July, I began to see transformation occurring. I was 60 that year and it proved to be an unexpected but pivotal moment.

I felt a subtle persistent nudge - a small voice telling me that there must be something more.

Added to this was the now or never kick in the seat of my pants. I originally connected it with the growing sense of my own mortality, triggered by the deaths of my parents. But I think it was something more - an awakening, a siren call.

Previous Generations

In my Mum's and Grandma’s generation, 60 was old. You could collect your pension because your productive years were behind you. Television portrayed many older women as frumpy, past it, and largely inconsequential. Turning 60 was a time to slow down, take fewer risks, settle into a predictable routine of tea, television, and occasional trips out with other OAPs.

Not Ready for a Nursing Home

We remembered that when we started nursing in 1977 people who were sixty were already classed as geriatric patients. Many went into nursing homes at that age, and here we were planning our next adventures.

Siobhan Daniels, Retirement Rebel

There was an added urgency to the call. It was now or never. When would I fulfil my dreams? When would I get on with what I wanted to do? Most importantly, when would I focus on those things that brought me the greatest joy?

I was surprised - this wasn't what I had been led to believe. I realised this wasn’t an end but rather a brand new beginning. My life had evolved to embrace a whole different way of living. I was becoming more me, more aligned, more connected to my truth. I started to prioritise what brought me joy - the sheep, lambs, doing farm stuff, being outside.

No one tells you that menopause is a threshold—not just of the body, but of the self.

Stacy Vajta

A Route Map

I discovered this truth through my journey of endings and beginnings.

In my forties, I found myself navigating the turbulence of an on-again, off-again relationship. Coming after earlier endings in my thirties - multiple job losses, house moves, and divorce - I began to notice a pattern, a predictable route that we navigate when something in our lives comes to an end.

This pattern eventually crystallised into The Essence Map - a framework that maps our journey from endings to powerful new beginnings.

The Post-Menopause Map

While The Essence Map applies to everyone, and even the world in general, what makes the map particularly relevant for post-menopausal women is how it aligns with this pivotal moment. When we feel lost as we head into uncharted territory, the Essence Map shows us the way.

When I had a recent aha moment and recognised that I was still in the Void, rather than on the cusp of a new Beginning as I’d imagined, the Essence Map provided me with a guide to what I needed to do right now.

---

Finding Myself Lost and Adrift: An Aha Moment

---

Coming Soon

I’ve been working on the Essence Map for ages! Lately, it’s been coming into focus, I’ve looked at it through the lens of Menopause, and some other elements have made themselves known. Using an amazing tool called Kortex has helped me organise all the writing I’ve completed - less wood, more trees.

I’m creating an overview which I’ll be sharing here soon. It includes:

• A summary of the Essence Map timeline

• How to see Menopause as a new beginning rather than an ending

• The hidden gifts of the Void when life seems to be on hold

• Discovering Flow by being creative which leads to uncovering your truth or Essence

• Practical ways to begin your next chapter, one aligned with who you truly are

• How the upward spiral of experience leads to expanded consciousness

Rediscover Your Spark

This is a lifelong journey. It never ends. The Essence Map is about reconnecting with the our inner spark and rediscovering what makes us unique.

I’m sure you will have read many times: you’re not too old, and it’s not too late to be who you truly are, and to do what you dream of.

We are older and wiser, we’ve gained wisdom and experience, we’ve had decades of living. Now it’s time to bring all of this into the mix.

We're standing at the beginning of what could be our most fertile, abundant, and meaningful chapter yet.