On Tuesday I checked, as I always did, on Dolly. She was lying down, which wasn’t unusual, but she seemed a little peaky. She didn’t bother when I stroked her head. I wasn’t overly concerned as her progress had been peaks and troughs. It was sunny and I hoped she would move into the sunshine.
I gave her some Reiki.
Later that day we went to the farm to put the hens to bed and to do the chores in the sheep shed. I went to the orchard to check on everyone there. I saw her before I reached the gate. She was on the ground, just next to the fence, and I knew.
I stood next to her, trying to hold in the tears because I didn’t want Phil to see me crying. I walked around the orchard, checked on the others and Dolly’s two lambs, trying to compose myself.
I went back to where Dolly lay and talked to her, and said goodbye.
Back in the shed, it was a few minutes before I could say to Chris, ‘Dolly’s dead’.
I left, saying I would put the hens to bed. I was just trying not to cry.
By the time Phil and Chris came back from the shed, it was dark which concealed my red eyes.
As we drove home, Chris put his hand over mine and tears leaked down my face.
It had been exactly a month since Dolly first came back to the farm from the field, and after losing her right eye.
I take comfort from the fact that she died in the orchard, with her lambs. I’d made sure she wasn’t on her own. The twins had a habit of getting underneath the gate, leaving Dolly. I’d tempted her into the main orchard with some corn a few days before so that they were all together.
I suspect she still had an underlying condition, perhaps an infection stemming from her eye injury. Even though she had plenty of grass to go at and the corn that I gave her, she was quite thin.
Her lambs are missing her. One of them, in particular, bleats and looks for her. I’m checking on them every day.
We’ve had nearly 200 ewes through the shed and paddock, lots of lambs, a few losses along the way. There have been many moments that I will remember.
But three ewes will always be top of my thoughts. Dot Dot, who was my pal, and is now happily out in the field. Crazy Miss Pushy who was mad for corn nuts. And Dolly.
